Epilogue

I thought this blog had run its course, but I feel there should be an epilogue. 

The energy I had hoped to redirect manifested in the place where I suppose it actually belongs, catalyzed by the lovely and talented dianna, within the abomination that Paul & admin created, which Bill endorsed and fed.

No matter how you feel about anyone involved, don't lose sight of the lessons learned, to highlight a few:

Secrecy, heirarchy, hero worship, the creation of enemies and sides, and one-sided narratives only fuel the current paradigms and problems we face, the antithesis of what PA claims to do

Excusing abuse or failure to live to standards set or bad behavior or denial of the creator of something wonderful (or ourselves) infects the creation of rot that only lies and force can maintain, which inevitable will crumble over time, if not responsibly and honestly corrected

The lies we tell ourself run deep, it's important to always be vigilantly seeking them out, as a wise friend always says: be constantly stalking yourself.

Those are just a few. This is not about BR, not to me, hasn't been for a long time. It is about everyone else (myself included), so easily manipulated, often blinded to the traps we walk willingly into, supposedly awake and aware. 

I learned so much from Project Avalon, Bill Ryan, et al. that any appreciation I try to express will come up small. Regardless if he or you or anyone thinks it's a battle to be won or just drama or nonsense to be ignored or whatever, what this is to some of us is a revealing, a step forward in our evolution...what we are doing to save the world.

The loops we find ourselves in are not going to unwind themselves. The lies we tell will not stand. We are all one, and have incredible tools to create the reality we want to see. They are also effectively used against, especially to cause division.

This episode shows to me that there seems to some force, perhaps inside ourselves--our "dark side", perhaps real external predators and parasites...probably a bit of both...that we need to better understand in order to break the pattern it seems to has stuck in preventing us from progressing as we should.

Just my reflections as the "wall of fire" burns on the forums, where we are now faced with the choice to "move on" in denial that lessons to be learned and accountability and responsibility still are needed, or to do something different: really start walking our walk.

Take care, much love to all

Attempt to redirect energy

So apparently the response Christine sent to the PA admin has been sent out to a broader mailing than the first sending last Monday:

http://www.pdf-archive.com/2015/12/13/epilogue-to-the-truth/

***please note, this is at least one draft past what Christine actually sent to the PA admin and whoever she originally sent on 12/7/15 (I was included on that mailing, I am not sure who else).  I am apparently one of many she this version to today.

She tells me the only response she initially received was Bill saying something like "I'll respond in full when you tell me who was blind copied".

Since then...it's like crickets chirping. Well...besides a little admin support here and there to make sure the forum knows they (and the public) are somehow being served by the threads (Paul representing moderation) created, and a few astute old timers trying to point out it may not serve anyone as much as harm they cause....but I don't see a whole lot in the way action toward some sort of resolution for the situation.

When Bill responded to Jeff's ultimatum with accusations that he's causing harm by not stopping me from posting his words he doesn't want you to see...I took them down, despite my beliefs that are contrary to everything he says he believes. I gave him the benefit of the doubt that he may be right...and so took that shit down.

I also continued on my multidimensional course of action which is essentially drawing the emotional energy from this situation in hopes I can help defuse or transmute it into something that can serve to make better the community as a whole...I guess we can call it my attempt to help heal the world.

My literal manifestation of that so far has been this blog, which will have run its course with this post, as I have created a more interactive and hopefully inviting space, which I feel is more appropriate for the type of shit going on at PA (who should be above this horrid treatment of "truth", let alone treatment of another human being) and dribbling on to Earth Empaths, Christine's site. 

I don't think the energy I am sensing, the information I'm discerning, the discourse I am seeing, the treatment of others I am witnessing...I don't believe any of it belongs at either place, at least according to what I understand of what they tell themselves they are.  

But it--the energy--exists, and to deny it...to "move on" as so many do with way too many problems--before they're even close to being resolved, serves no one. So I created a space to drag the darkness out into the light and sort this thing out:

http://openuptoday.freeforums.net/

We create this reality. Let's take responsibility, not let it get swept under the rug. Let's fix it.

Think Christine is telling lies? Express them there. Think PA admin taking 14 months and 30 drafts to provide their service is problematic? Let's discuss it there.

I am continuing to share my perspective on my experiences, presenting it to you as data to process, pieces of the puzzle, to discern as you will, which I hope you can with emotional detachment required to understand this reality that seems so easily manipulated.

Darkness will only be strengthening by secrecy, hiding shit, and creation of battles/sides/wars. Truth is the light that needs to be shined into the dark corners of these places, and on that strange "logic" and delusion of discernment we slip into when emotional attachments are hooked on important loops we need to get out of. 

revloution...a played out idea

Watching the views of the thread created by Avalon admin approach 30k (well, the part us wogs are allowed to see), it occurs to me something a wise friend mentioned:

 

What if this is part of the pattern?  Build up the site, this magnet of good intention, this enormous, intense energy…until it hits a sort of critical mass which necessitates a split. 

 

We’ve seen it before right?  It reeks of the American idea of “revolution”…the masses rail against the power, destroy the symbol of it in a revolt, and thinking the problem is solved, settle right back into the same structure…same pattern….same loops.

 

Robin’s post was brilliant, splainin’ “authority” to the authorities…and more importantly the psychophants BEGGING for a hierarchy, fake “security”, delusions of not-exactly-free freedom.

 

So many of the old timers I talk to try to excuse the hypocracy and general shitty behavior and heinous character flaws as the “humanness” we need to forgive….to EXCUSE, or all the good it brings. Enabling.  The pattern of the abusive relationship…which is what a hierarchy always is, which civilization is based on, and addicted to.

 

I like to see so many starting to actually BE the change they want to see.  Cheers gripreaper, Robin, et al.  You guys ARE Avalon.  Perhaps together, you CAN make a difference.  Maybe you can pull off something different, actually make things better.

 

I’m tired of living in the Bill Ryans create, that the Dennis and Paul and ulli and Mike and Jakes co-create.  I’m sick of TALK about personal responsibility, I’m ready to start seeing it.  It’s amazing the metaphor…the manifestation of the mantra…as above, so below.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvZIiiIMwbg

On embezzling from Avalon

I’ve been trying to piece together the beliefs of Project Avalon on this one.

 

If I understand correctly:

 

Avalon costs in the $4200 ballpark to run, I remember the founder stressing how he barely makes it from the donations back when I was active.

 

Apparently there is evidence from a member who was trying to send donations to PA, and it was “intercepted” by a PayPal account directed toward Earth Empaths…Christine’s site.

 

So from the period of time Christine chose to start stealing donations, to whenever Bill or the accountant in charge of monitoring donations and paying the bills (I’m assuming that’d be BR, but not sure) noticed the PayPal account wasn’t getting donations....could be what, a couple grand, tops?  Of money she's blatantly taking with not even the slightest attempt to hide it.  Electronically...with possibly the most easily producable evidence trail in the history of crimes.

 

I would think this would be difficult to pull off in the first place…but assuming it’s as easy having access to the site its “first lady” would probably be privy to, and she just went in and shut down PA’s Paypal and opened hers in front of it…wouldn’t this trigger some sort of action by paypal…at least an inquiry to the EE account owner as to the validity of the claim they were stealing donations from another site?  Maybe peeps should think twice...or 3 or 4 times...before making donations on a website...especially through PayPal.  Oh and apparently donations are goign toward living expenses...which when I was a follower I'd have been happy to do, but I wonder how many Avalon lovers that want to donate it, DESPITE Bill feel about buying his toilet paper?

 

And isn’t uncharacteristically and pretty damn-near-insanely stupid for Christine to think she’d “get away” with funneling the probably significantly less than the $4k operating case she’d be able to snatch before her scam was found out?  He must think she was seriously desperate...I mean, how far could even a GIANT influxd of PA donations REALLY get her...I guess far enough away from any jurisdiction that can prosecute...so maybe she's super smart...I dunno, it's a strange story.

 

This is a really interesting study in reality creation to me.  The “evidence” forces a sort of cognitive dissonance that leads me to believe he wants me to believe she is dumber than she’s ever shown herself to be capable of being…or that paypal is significantly less secure than they’d have us believe (unless he’s for some reason holding out on documentation here?  I mean, I’d think he’d at least be able to get something from paypal acknowledging he’d ask them to look into this heinous theft, no?)

 

Anyway…I won’t speculate any more…just trying to work this out…I don’t even really understand what I’m supposed to believe……oh what a strange web we weave…

My thoughts

The previous post is Bill Ryan's transmission to some select members of his forum. When Christine Anderson  directly gave me on her thoughts  about it, she tells me it's "using my most private, confidential and gut wrenching story against me, told to him in a sacred vow.

I present it here as a piece of data to contribute to the understanding of her  public shaming,, which he contends that his intent is to protect the public from harm that she might do to individuals and the broader community.

I contend that in light of his position and stated intent, in the spirit of the alternative "truth" community, that his actions demonstrate every "evil" he projects on to Christine, and have more documentation to back that claim than he's ever actually presented to back any of his. 

I am doing this because I am in agreement with the spirit and even the methodology Bill and his admin team chose to provide to their service to the greater community in their disclosure, I feel it is valid and effective. And I feel responsible for making sure any pieces of the puzzle available to me are available to all, I don't believe any information should be occulted, kept in back rooms among any "elite".

I am not "taking sides", I am not attempting to attack, I am not interested in games. Everything everyone else says and thinks may be true, and everything I am saying and doing may not be...but I feel compelled to do this, this way.

I do apologize to anyone offended by the way I am choosing to use any  forum with  a link to here,, I understand that it causes emotional distress but I hope we can demonstrate the emotional maturity and integrity we like to tell ourselves that we have...and do not give in to fears. Most disagree with my belief that this is what forums should be doing, i accept that, but I want to be the change I want to see, I hope most will try to understand:

I feel this situation is a problem to be hashed out, not a war to be won. Everything Bill says about Christine may be true, and anything I reveal about my understanding of Bill and PA may be false, I don't need to be right, don't want to be actually...I just ultimately hope this can become a springboard for clarity.

The PM

The following entire post is a paste of a pm received in an email and shared with me in a Skype chat:


Bill's words to select members of his forum once appeared here...as a public service, I have removed them. 

Apparently only the initiated are able to handle the wisdom he so responsibly shares in private...as he suggests them being in public view causes harm.

You are not worthy of the intel he chooses to provide to the "special" chosen ones, so move on please, get on with your life...after all, like he loves to ask: what are YOU doing to make the world a better place?

The purpose of my presence

The intent of this blog is to present data in an area of alternative research I am conducting, by attempting to determine if the patterns I've been perceiving in the "alternative research" virtual community are real or imagined.

If the case seems to be the former, than this will provide valuable insight into a character whom I view as responsible for at the very least creating confusion in this arena that I understand to have the stated intention of moving toward clarity (aka "truth").  But if the latter is the case, and I'm completely delusional...I'd like to explore and document any insight into reasons for me having these wild imaginings.

Recently Bill Ryan, founder of Project Avalon, accused his ex-wife Christine Anderson of stealing $60k of gold (which had added sentimental value), presumably in hopes of shaming her into returning it...or at the very least build to the character he is protraying her, specifically a dangerously unqualified healer that seemingly is a danger to the community?  I do not want to speculate his intent just now...but that's what I'm able to discern from the "Closing the Avalon accounts of two long standing members" thread created by his Administrator Paul.

As a public service, I am providing the text I received of what is a supposedly a private message from BR to select members, revealing important information I would feel it would serve everyone interested to know, not just the special chosen ones he sent it to.

I am doing this here, on my own blog, as I have heard the apparent author often threatens legal action toward site owners.  More than one of whom have said that he threatens them when someone post things he feels is harmful to him or a violation of rights or misuse of his property or whatever...I have never seen any evidence of these supposed threats, and if it is true he uses this text-book psi-N-tological technique, I welcome taking responsibility for whatever harm he feels I'm inflicting upon him in court...that said, my intent is to present information for educational purposes.